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| Home People and Terms I Am Subversive Archive (by Chapter) Archive (by page) Character Building (Genevieve's Blog on writing) About Me Short Story Support the Sun God |
Descent Part 2-7 Kel I lay across Perin and sobbed. My love was dead. After everything that had happened, I was just to find him lying across my path that way? My world was crashed and I knew not what to do. I called to him to wake up, unable to believe he was dead like this. Perin was a god! What could have killed him? Finally I dried my eyes. I had a choice to make now. I could go forward and put Perin behind me, or I could let myself die completely. It was tempting to pass into death. Life without Perin was inconceivable. I'd thought he'd been safe to love. A god could not die, after all. But here he was. Did I want to live, or did I want to die? I looked at his body and realized that I didn't know. Part of me craved life with all I had. But part of me looked at Perin's body and wondered if I could truly live without him in my life. I'd already lost so much. Could I stand to lose him as well? "This is the sacrifice. Can you take it?" I turned and faced Death, tears still streaming down my face. "No." "Then you die." I shook my head. "This isn't my sacrifice. This is his." He looked at me measuringly. "Are you saying that you still choose to live, then?" "I'm saying this isn't my sacrifice. You can't put this on me. I can choose to go on or not. But I can't choose to sacrifice him. He's not mine." "You love him. This is a question of sacrificing your love." Why was he being so obtuse? "You don't understand. He's not mine. I can't sacrifice something I don't have. I can give up my love for him, yes. But I can't have him die for me. It's just not possible. I can't give something I don't own!" Perin's body disappeared, and the path lay before me. "You know sacrifice. Not only what it is, but what it isn't." I stared. "This was a test?" My voice broke as my tears started again. "How could you? What was the point of this?" I could not leave the path, but somehow my ire drew Death to me so that he stood before me. "Why?" "I'm sorry. I had to." I slapped him as hard as I could, rocking his head back. "How could you do that to me?" He looked at me, and I saw that he was sad, too. "You knew I didn't play fair, didn't you? I can't just let you walk back to life. The boundary is clear and necessary." "Then why at all? Why give me the chance? Why take it back?" "I'm not taking it back. I'm giving it to you and letting you go forward. You've passed my challenge." I met his eyes and saw, not a cold killer, but a warm person that cared for what he did. He did care. This was not a sick game to him. "What will I be, then?" He smiled. "That is up to you. You're almost out, now. But what happens is up to you." "I'm afraid." "I know. Change is always frightening. But you don't have to do it alone."
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